aug 21 in post adolescence

as i was clearing my drawer i found the agenda books i kept since high school and diary also. 

giving the thought that i will have more and more staff and the living space just getting smaller and smaller, at once i think i should throw some of them away.  then after the second thought, i feel that not only i want to keep them i actually need them. 

i need the note in 2004 to remind me how exciting i was before going to somewhere or meet someone. and the blanks in 2006 shows how dry my life was since i wasn't a student anymore. my love, hate, struggle and lost. 

when i am turning into somebody i dont want to be, i hope there will be a force that brings me back. even if there's only for a moment, i like to remember that moment when i really enjoy being the way i was. 

emails, computer, mobile phone, usb drive ,,, my life is digitized in a small chip. anyone can format it in one click. if i don't keep all the note, i am like a person without past, like i never exist before.  fundamentally, i am afraid i will be gone if all the things relate to me are no longer exist.

right now, all the agenda books are lying under my bed quietly.